Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
