Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
