Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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