I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
