Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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