Already got asked if we're dating
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i out mim tonsoeep
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
