i jhust puked up my retainher.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
