Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
