good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize