You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize