I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
