when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
