Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
