Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
