i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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