Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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