Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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