it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize