Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
