he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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