Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
True strength comes from lack of pants
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
