4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
