You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
