He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
