we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize