We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
