he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
