YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize