i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize