Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize