Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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