I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he puts the penis in happiness.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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