I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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