Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
false alarm. still invincible.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
