today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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