Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
