Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
