carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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