I'm drive I can fine osifer
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sorry my hands just texted you
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Drunk is a universal language darling
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
