We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
