So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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