do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
