Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
