im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I looked at my own cervix.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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