that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
