I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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