I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
