and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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