Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
