My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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