That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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