I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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