Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
