I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize