his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
