sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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