I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
