I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He better not be in your backpack
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
