I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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