oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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