I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
