u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
