Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
