yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
