Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
