Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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