Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
