you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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