hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So vagazzling was a success
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
