im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
