That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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