i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
