I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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