i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
