this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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