I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
