Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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