you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
