So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
