and she was petting her beer can
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
