that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
