I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize