Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
