That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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