If that was your dad, he is hot
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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