i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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